In law school one of the very first principles that we encountered as 1st year students was the “egg skull/ shell” theory – which to state in simple terms lays down that you cannot blame a person for being negligent when you are over sensitive!
Why this? Am I teaching you Law of Torts 101 – oh hell NO! Am swamped editing a 600 pager manuscript for my upcoming law book and trust me after I get done with that, I don’t think I want to impart legal gyaan for a long long time.
This is because of some food for thought that has accumulated over the weekend and I am thinking whether it’s them or is it me, who needs a refresher course on dealing with people!
Them here can be divided into two categories – those who think being close is asking for free copies of the book and the other category is those who do not really know what a joke is.
Disclaimer are those BFF’s who are reading and have joked about a signed copy when I get a best-seller going *the sneaky me agreed knowing that there is no best seller in sight – ha ha ha 
* – this is NOT for you (also it is a different fact, that despite the jokes ALL of you have bought the book and never really waited for me to courier a copy – My darlings muaaah!). This is for that “mama ke bete ke tau ke school friend ke chachi ne behen ke mausa ke friend ke FB contact ke bhai ke Twitter buddy ke nati ke dost” who just happens to be an acquaintance and truly feels that since he / she knows you it is but your duty to gift them a copy of your book, with a long hand written note saying how much he / she means to you and with the gifting comment that if he/ she doesn’t like the book then you shall ask your publisher to withdraw it from the market!
If you refuse however, you get to hear that you are just being an @$$ as the publisher has definitely given you an unending mountain of free copies! The stingy you is then given looks that can even burn down the library at Alexandria and for a long time at every meeting you are told tales of your inconsiderate behavior.
I asked one of them if they ever knew what went into writing a book? One I asked if she would be happy if her husband worked without a salary because after all he was helping friends! True to my expectations she got flustered and dared me to utter one more word against her husband. I just smiled and she hurled that she husband is an “ENGINEER” and thus his profession cannot be joked about. She was “just joking” with me as people usually crack such jokes at “Authors” – esp the not famous ones! Yes she said that! 
The conversation that followed is not what bothers me, what bothers me is her mindset and what I considered ignorance and insensitivity! :/
The other acquaintance pinged from US of A to let me know that he had “downloaded my book” – horror of horror for any author. With the piracy market on the rise, I know how much precautions I take to ensure that no pdf is actually found on the net of ACTC. It means running late night searches, pleading tech friends to help me and a lot of other things. However, we do not think of all this because it is yet again a joke people like me should be used to. Also, am a strong supporter of anti-piracy, I truly believe that creativity does come with a price tag just like the shampoo you love and are willing to spend for! If you expect it for free, you are actually promoting a very dark future! The conversation flinched me:
Time and again I have wondered how people find such things to be funny, when did we lose respect for emotions and sentiments? The brilliance of the most common retort amazes me : “Of course, now you have become way too big for jokes from friends like us” or the complete opposite : “Who do you think you are, Jhumpa Lahiri that I should think twice before talking to you!”
I have always acted like me, the mirror still smiles the way it used to 6 months back! I still am the goofy, sarcastic moi with my girl gang – to me I haven’t changed and to all those who think I have, am proud of the change! Also, the fact that it’s not about me – it is about the mindset towards a profession that I speak for! Why shouldn’t you pay a doctor just because he/she is a friend? Why should you pay a lawyer because you know him from school? Why do we have to mix friendship with the professional services an individual has to offer and then when questioned, turn personal?
Still somewhere the food for weekend thought is – have I suddenly developed a weak egg skull? Or do you also find it as distasteful humor as I do?
All that was playing in the background as I typed this was “respect’ by Aretha Franklin on a loop:
Do you know you can get Bowlful of Butterflies pirated for Rs.50/-? It horrified me. And I positively refuse to dish out free copies of my book or even entertain such free loaders Gaah! I dont understand why people want me to work hard and then distribute the fruits of my labor for free!
I agree… Don’t give out free copies of your book to the likes of the people you have mentioned!!
I hope that the pirated copies of the book never come out!
Its a lot of hard work and free loaders (like how Ritu has mentioned) should not be entertained!!
Amen to all your thoughts pixie … I hope so too. As for free copies – I have now resorted to, “why have I got them in dowry”
Sweetheart, as long as you know in your heart that you’re the same person you always were, you have nothing to worry about. And neither do you have to spare more than a minute to the ones who dont bother to think how their words might be making you feel. Ignore and move on, I know thats easier said than done, but there are phases when thats all you can do! And ofcourse there is your ever dependable girl gang
Sane Mommyyyyy
am glad you back at my blog – I am trying to be regular at everyone’s too, trying 
And yup Gm used to say the same thing about the mirror of the heart! 
Am glad for the girl gang in my life – hugs over and over again
I only said, my book comes up soon, a friend said, Hey, i deserve a free copy. Now that was one of the rubbish to hear from a non writer friend. Mentality should go.
Exactly the mentality angle should be changed. I know what you mean Sudamji – Been there heard that
Awww Peppy … me just wants to go and hug you right now. Yup I am trying to shut them all off now!
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A Tangy Tuesday Pick after a long long time – Thanks Blogadda!
That is so sad! How can people, especially those who call themselves friends, try to get freebies off you? It is ridiculous! And piracy! One wouldn’t expect it from friends -at the very least
So so so sad!
The very tag of friends lie in dubiety Smitha! And offense is indeed the best way they think of turning tables around – or attempting so! Sad but true!
First time here..came from Hitchy (we talked there na
)
I really cant believe people ask you for free copies…I mean, its weird right…even if my friend wrote a book, and offered me, I would perhaps take it, and then go ahead and BUY the book as well, because writing is no joke…I really admire people who can write so much…
So, Gah to such people, and hope that the sales soar
Of course I know you and am glad you hopped over
– it’s always good to make some new and lovely friends 
<3
Yup the reality is quite sad but so it is
– I so hope that people realize that writing is no joke. Guess but, that it is a long way to go.
Thank you for the wishes R's Mom am trying to get back to mainstream blogging soon .. hope you stick by me
RD just ordered the book for me from flipkart
will read and get back to you with comments 
Hey thanks R’s mom … one of the best news of the day!
Am so loking forward to your views 
– also sice you are in Mumbai do check Mid Day – April 26th paper – Page 33 – 
well said
Thanks BB! Welcome to my space, do keep dropping by
I totally agree with you. If anyone ‘asks’ for free stuff, that simply means they dont deserve it.
Completely – for if they deserved it, they wouldn’t ask, right?
No aquaintance will take authors seriously unless they are famous or dead. One question though – do your publishers really give you loads of copies of your book? I do hasten to add it isn’t with a view to claiming an aquaintance a la twitter that I ask.
Ha ha ha – love your comment! Agree with you completely
As for publisher copies – let’s say they don’t even cover immediate family
The fact is people who ask for free copies of your book may not actually read it once they receive it in case they do….It might just go into one of those shelves whose existence is purely for stacking up such freebies …The fuss is only about whether you give it to them or not…Such people definitely exist…. Congrats on getting picked for Blogadda’s Tangy Tuesday Picks !
Thanks
Hi
People who ask or demand for these free copies may not actually end up reading it…All the fuss is only about whether you give them a copy or not and it sometimes has its roots in jealousy…If at all they get a free copy it would go into some shelf in their homes meant exclusively for such snatched free copies!
Congrats at getting picked for blogadda’s Tangy Tues Picks!
http://www.jaishwrites.blogspot.com/
I so agree with your points – giving out free copies is like agreeing that you can be taken fro granted
Thanks for dropping by, hope to see you around often