They have already tagged me to be a feminist because of my upcoming book and gender studies specialization. But trust me I am not – I am in Oprah’s words an “equal opportunity” person. I have screamed this often but they just wouldn’t listen!!! Then why do you write about violence against women, why do you support causes of the same they ask me. I pause and look around, I say I love pink and everything feminine but it has nothing to do with that somewhere someone whom I always adored wished I had a different gender. We love to talk about stories and go *tch tch*, but in my case, it was my own that gave me inspiration to talk and build me so that we don’t shudder till date! And I am not ashamed to talk about it – it’s a reality that still exists so why blame incidents almost 3 decades old? But then to make it the sole ground to wish for pink I think it’s more proving dogmas wrong than real craving for the gender!
But then saying that, I have always wanted a baby boy as vehemently as a baby girl. While I would love her to take on my love for poetry and colors, I want him to have the smile and boisterous laugh of my man. I don’t want a baby girl to show that I support a cause, just as I don’t want a baby boy to bask in that my child would continue the progeny!
I remember Shobha De having tweeted after the most awaited baby of the country was born that Aishwarya Rai should be made the ambassador supporting girl child up-liftment. Why because she had a baby girl? So is it that all those who crave and get blue cribs do not actually care for baby girls?
Why this today – 2 reasons and both with a bump. One of my BFF is of course getting loads of kicks these days and as I hear her over phone I wish she has a baby girl. Then i stop and wonder why and I go on to ramble that it is mainly because that I want to see a “mini her”. It has nothing to with my gender studies specialization or the census numbers of the country that haunts me – but just that I don’t belong to her hubby’s gang to wish a miniature him. The second one I barely know, but overheard her saying that she wants a girl to prove to the world around her that girls are coveted – it made me smirk!
What are we out to prove and to whom? Ain’t we out to build a generation that respects humanity in any form as it comes. Why make a color an agenda when it should be nature’s choice? Why build expectations even before the little shoulders are formed?
Little bundles wrapped in white flannel should be adored without a peek at their genitals, didn’t they teach you in school that too peek into ‘private’ parts of others is a strict no-no!
Lovely last sentence
BTW I’ve always wanted a baby girl too, wished everybody had one but nothing remotely to do with being a woman, or seeing through the feminist lens, nothing at all… and people taunt me saying, that’s because you already have a younger sibling whose a boy!! For a moment my facial expressions fail to react or react with blankness!
I have no clue why the gender disparity has to be brought in any innocent desire for a child (of a particular sex) – thanks Pinnooo!
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They did! And u so totally voiced what I feel! Bcoz I see ppl turning their nose at couples who wish they hv a boy, not for any other reasons, but just like some other couple who wish they hv a girl.
exactly Swaru .. it kills me too
I always wanted a baby girl too – long before I got to understand about the disparities of the world
I love this post! I love the concept of an equal opportunity person. I am quite sure, that despite wanting a little girl, since I was 6 myself(then I wanted a baby sister 
, had I had a boy, I would have treated him just the way I bring up Poohi.. The only time I get frustrated is when people want to have boys for reasons like ‘to keep the in-laws happy’, or are ready to abourt female foetuses just because they don’t fit their plan 
That apart, whatever gender – what difference does it make? The true difference is not in the child’s gender – but in the way we parent the child.
I love love your last line!
And I love this line …
Very well said Smitha!
I know as a child I’ve heard how badly my sis had craved me – mainly coz her best friend then had a sister. Innocent cravings do not bother me, what bothers me is as you say the the fact that people want desire a “fir in their plan”!
I will not say anything on this – you know my thoughts
Of course I do … I’m your thought reader after all ;P
Does it matter what we want.. end of the day nature will do what it does best .. and we have what we have
as Smitha said up that what matter is how we PARENT rather than what we want..
Hello Bikram! It’s been a long time – hope you good!
Yup .. it doesn’t matter what it is in end, but then that doesn’t stop us from craving. And I don’t say craving is bad, i just hope that the craving is innocent and the seriousness is devoted to what Smithu says being a parent!
I can’t tell you how much I loved your post,I agree with each and every word you said here. I don’t think writing or talking or raising your voice against the cruelty and injustice done to women makes anyone a feminist, I have my own opinion and I have the right to say anything I feel close to me and nobody can tag me with things as they feel like. How I wish i could express my ideas in words as well as you do. Nature does not discriminate us according to gender,it only makes two different sex,it is we,the people and the society who designate things like pink for girls and blue for boys and things which make us even more different than nature intended us to be.
Thanks so much S, but I strongly believe that u pen down words just as good! keep writing and look forward to more of your posts and comments at endowedwithmetis.wordpress.com
Thanks Swarnali .. those are beautiful words you spoke here
Thank you for writing this…you know why.
Yes I know … and you did cross my mind as I typed this. Hugs!
Loved this post, sags! Absolutely loved it! Esp the last para
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And an equal opportunity is what I want for our daughters too..for that we need to let them come into this world and make their own lives, no? But sadly, going by our obsessive fixation for sons for generations, our daughters have hardly been standing a chance to tell the world that they are in every way deserving to be included in our prayers and wishes
Thanks Deeps and yes I agree with you totally … I want each gender to be accepted with open up without any conditionality
Lovely post! I have two lovely daughters and we are the happiest of parents, consider ourselves doubly blessed! We wanted two kids and I always wanted my daughter to have a sister, so am very happy that it happened so. Agree with Smitha totally – what is important is how we parent the child! And that time will tell!
Hey welcome to my space and thank you for the lovely words! God bless your daughters – they are indeed lucky! Wish more and more people think like you and Smitha!