Letters to my Daughter – Part IV

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Dear Bummy,

I think by now you already know all that I want to tell you through this letter, for that is all I have been talking to you in my head since last evening. The last weekend evening of your Ma’s rendezvous with the city that shaped her, was spent in discovering things I would like to tell you when someday we come back to settle here and sit by the sea, to share a cup of coffee. The very picture brings a smile to my face, it’s almost I can imagine your summer dress flowing in the breeze as I sit holding you close sniffing your freshly shampooed hair smelling of strawberry!

We might have had a fight before that. I think we will, for I know I am not going to be a cool mom. But you know what don’t fight back with me. It’s not worth it, I’ll be too obstinate to even pretend to listen to things which are a strict no –no. Instead pick up a call on Oma and trust me you’ll be soothed to know that I was more deviant than you can ever imagine. It’s ok don’t be shocked, we seldom can picture our parents as kids doing stuff they will never approve of now. But the truth is, they are humans too and so when Oma shows you a photograph of the ‘hippie’ stage of my life, kindly do not faint to see bandanas, black nail polish, gothic wear, chunk jewellery and yes not to forget hair in thousand braids!!!!

Disastrous as it may look and sound, it wasn’t. It did not shape me, it did not linger, it was just there to comfort me when I felt mis-fit in doing anything else. We all grow that way, clinging to various ‘comforts’ and there’s nothing wrong in that!

‘Comfort’ that is what I want to explain to you today, lest that evening by the sea never happens. I have learnt not to be too ambitious in life, so I jot these down, my child. Read it at leisure, one at a time for then it wouldn’t be preach!

  1. Baby, in life it is important to find a place that gives you comfort and yes it should be a distinct one which is no where close to my lap. In fact that space should be just yours devoid of any other human contact. I found mine in a small strip of virgin beach here, I hope you find yours somewhere. For then you shall discover yourself, when the world tags you as lost.
  2. There’s nothing as comforting as music, go discover your kinds. But remember NEVER share your IPod, just the way you won’t share your bra! Push-ups don’t work for everyone and not all are comfortable with the concept of half-cups! Similarly, Bhimsen Joshi might be too passé for some and Methany might be completely out of the blue. But, in the end, it’s your comfort. And trust me, even if you give into peer pressure at times to tune into what’s cool so that you can fit in, keep a back up playlist handy, for there’s nothing like a loop of favourite songs that never grow old, when you want to just disconnect from the rest of the world.
  3. Have one phone number on your speed dial list, which can comfort you at any hour of the night! Make sure but, that the person is a good listener or in fact at times ‘just’ a listener. It helps you the next morning and you wake up feeling much lighter, without any guilt. But yes, love NEVER use the person as your ‘punching bag’. Nothing hurts a person more than badly framed words, which are used to take out the vengeance about something he/she wasn’t a part of!
  4. I’ll always hug you to sleep, till the time you don’t throw me out of your room in want of ‘space’! Yes, I am shameless that way. But Hun, there’ll be hugs that you crave which I will not be able to offer. A strong pair of dad’s arms at times. Well I would offer you Opa’s but I know that would be a compromise I would be forcing you to make. But, it’ll do you good trust me, for it’ll help you find your comfort hug within yourself and then when sleep eludes you and the want of a strong hug creeps in really deep, you’ll slip under covers with someone like Hobbes, wearing your Winnie-the-Pooh socks and snore softly, while the world wonders how can you be so at peace with your own self.
  5. Living with me would ensure that there’s no cuisine you haven’t tried (unless your medical condition doesn’t permit!) and “I-don’t-like-to-eat” is something you would discover only once you start earning! But yes, I’ll help you discover something very early on – your comfort food and the acceptance that it acts the best too soothe you. Trust me, when you discover it you’ll perfectly understand why when you wake up during a few nights you find me sitting at the balcony with milk and cookies or a bowl of sambar and I assure you that I am ‘just thinking’. We shall ignore the over flowing ashtray that I seek to hide then, ok love?

Anarkali, it’s very important to be comfortable in the skin you are in. Correction, it is the most important thing, for then the rest follows. Once you discover your own self, no other jig saw puzzle can un-settle you baby!

Comfort Hugs and Kisses,

Amma

P.S: For more letters to my unfortunate unborn daughter click here :razz:

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60 thoughts on “Letters to my Daughter – Part IV”

    • First love the name Bummy !!! ;) :) :) So cute. :) :)

      1. Comfort space – oh yes, very much required and I really wish that my daughter feels that my lap is her comforting space, at least for now. I still hold my patti’s lap the best comforting space for me. :)
      2. Music – of course, nothing more soothing than the voices and tones u love to hear. Mine is Rafi, for any day, for any mood – for he has a song for every mood of mine.
      3. Thats the most essential thing – a good listener always. Find one for you too, Sags. I am always there for u. :) Hugs.
      4. Hugging to sleep is such a wonderful feeling – we sleep better. The comforts of a loved one’s arm around us, can work magic in our hearts and minds. :)
      5. Yes, thayir sadham and mavadu are the comfort foods now, what with summer days ahead. :P But I would love to share that bowl of sambhar with u. :) :)

      Hugs, my dear….I know Anarkali will love to read her mom’s crazy blogs and of course, these comforting blog posts too. :)

      Reply

  6. Sniff! Beautfil letter! :)
    Loved the name as well – Bummy! :D

    I think a comfort space, a listening ear, and music are very important…
    Me – I would tell my daughter not to make the same mistakes I did …

    Reply

    • Agree on everything including that the name I looooove too … But I want my Bummy to do all those mistakes that I did … Yes heartaches will be there but shell evolve better :)

      Reply

  7. Anarkali would be so happy to read all these letters… :) You are a super cool mummy but you know you can be a lil more lenient and let her not eat something if she does not wants too… Loved the name bummy… :)

    Reply

  9. That is such a sweet letter and so much to take in for all of us. Anarkali can wait her turn. We learn from this right now.

    Hugs to you Sags.

    PS: One of my fav. song.

    Reply

  10. I love anarkali posts! :)
    And this post only made me cringe- why don’t we write letters anymore!! :-
    Totally understand the need for all the comfort ‘items’ mentioned there, with special preference for the last one- comfort food :D
    i wish the comfort food wasn’t so adipose-friendly! :

    Reply

    • Yes yes we do S.. we not only write letters but also preserve old ones written to last generations ;D .. Anarkali has a LOT to read :P

      as with the adipose tissue ohhh I so agree .. but sambar is best that way ;p

      Reply

  12. Pingback: Letters to My Daughter – Part V « Deviant Wave – not all waves of the sea soothe you!

  13. Pingback: Of buckets and pails and my little Jill | The tales that the sea beholds ...

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